Partners in Civil Unions and Marriages Still Need Planning--Part V of VII

Jane Doe and Janet Roe, if married, would be able to automatically make healthcare decisions for each other if they were incapacitated. This is because under North Carolina law they would be the “next of kin” just as much as if they were a hetero married couple. But what if something happened to both of them and they did not have a healthcare power of attorney? They might not like who gets to make healthcare decisions for them.

If Jane were not able to make her own healthcare decisions and Janet was also incapacitated, then Jane’s next of kin can step in and make decisions for her. Jane’s next of kin would be her son John Doe, if he was over 18. If he was not over 18 and Jane’s mother was deceased, then Jane’s estranged and rabidly anti-gay father could make healthcare decisions for her. (Probably not what Jane would want.) If he were deceased or refused to make decisions, then Jane’s flaky, drug-abusing sister could make decisions for her.

You’re starting to get the picture. For any married couple, the most important healthcare agents are listed after the spouse as the primary agent, and this may be even more critical for gay and lesbian couples. If Jane wanted to make sure that her spouse Janet were listed first, and then her cousin Marty, and then her friend Susan were listed as healthcare agents, then it needs to be put in writing by an attorney, signed, witnessed and then notarized. But what about financial decisions? We’ll talk about that next.